Falling Out of Love With Her
by 100TenMillion
Summary: Noah has to accept the simple fact: he doesn't love his girlfriend anymore. But at the same time, he still does. An anti-romance story and part one of the Complex Emotions Trilogy


Falling Out of Love With Her

You ever want to capture a feeling and put it into words? But instead of, like, a simple feeling, like being in love with someone or missing someone, it's a real complicated feeling. Like the kind of feeling you get when listening to Polaris' song "Hey Sandy" while watching kids buy ice cream from an ice cream van. Or like waiting for that college acceptance letter and finally getting it, and you wanna open it to see if you got in but you don't wanna open it cuz you don't want to see if you got in cuz you kinda wanna be with your girl at her community college, but at the same time you kinda don't. That's kinda what Noah was going through at the moment, but not really.

"So, I don't love her anymore." He told me. "But I still love her at the same time, man."

"Hey man, you sure?" I told him. "Cuz you can't love a person and not love them at the same time, you know?"

"Nah, man, it's complicated. See, it's like this." He told me. "I like her when she's there most of the time, but I don't like her when she's not there most of the time. I think about her every now and then, but at the same time, I don't think about her at all most of the time."

"Shit, man." Was all I could say. That was real messed up, you know? I mean, I know Noah really liked Jackie and all, but I gotta admit, lot of the time, they just seemed bored with each other.

"Ya know what? I kinda sometimes like spending some time with her." He told me. "Like the other day, she and I parked my car out behind the gas station, and we bought some burritos there and we microwaved them, and we ate them in my car while listening to some Modest Mouse. We ate them at the back seat, she and I, and we just ate and listened. It was great, man."

"But then there are times where we're just so bored with each other. Like the time I went to that shit show she put up at the theater and I ended up wasting three hours of my life watching her prance about on stage as she howled like a monkey." He said. "What that had to do with women's rights, I'll never know."

"Weren't you the only one there?" I asked him.

"Nah, I was the only one who stayed more than five minutes. It did not get better, man. It did not." He said. "And it ain't just that. One time, I gave a speech at the University on that thing I told you about, and I invited her. She showed up, but she looked damn bored, man. Like she would rather be anywhere but there."

"You went to her thing, she went to your thing. Sounds like a pretty fair deal to me." I told him.

"Yeah, I know, but it's more complicated than that. We can't stand each other's passions, but we're not averse to each other's company." He told me. "It's like, we're in love when we're not us, and when we're us we can't stand each other."

"Then break up." I said to him.

"Part of me wants to, but part of me doesn't." He said. "And it makes no sense."

Noah and me walked through the park, looking at all the people. The Sun was shining bright, the sky was blue, the birds were singing, and the grass was green. We could hear the distant sound of children playing football, the passing of cars, and maybe real far away, a plane was flying. It was the last day of summer. Noah was really quiet for a while. He and I sat down on a bench under a tree. He sighed, thinking.

"Ya know, she's not that pretty." He said. "She's kind of frumpy looking sometimes, and she photographs really terribly. And she has so many birthmarks on her back that I could connect them and make a picture of something, like maybe scissors. Plus her teeth are a little uneven."

"Yeah, she's got kind of buck teeth." I said, chuckling.

"I don't know, they make her look like Bugs Bunny's girlfriend from that movie with that basketball guy. What was his name again?"

"Michael Jordan." I replied.

"Yeah, him. I don't know, man. I just think her buck teeth aren't that bad. Plus her wild curly hair is so pretty on her..." He blushed. "But man, her breath sometimes stinks."

"It's like she's ugly and pretty at the same time. Not like a girl who looks ugly without makeup but looks drop dead gorgeous with it, it's more like she's ugly and beautiful at the exact same time. Like you look at her, and you kinda want to look away because she's nothing special to look at, but you can't help but stare because she's the most beautiful person you've ever laid eyes on." He said. "It's weird."

"Sounds like you still love her." I told him.

"No, Owen, I don't." He replied. "I don't see us going anywhere. Marriage? Moving in together? I don't see that happening, and I don't want it to happen."

So he and I just sat there, saying nothing for a while. I thought about what he said. I thought about him and her. Noah and Jackie met at a party I dragged him to. They talked with each other because they both gave off the impression they'd rather be anywhere else but there. They began dating after that. That was two years ago.

He started to hum a song to himself. It was "Falling out of love with you" by The 6ths. He and I love that song.

"Every hour kills a flower, I'm falling out of love with you." He sang under his breath. I listened to him sing for a while.

"You know what?" I asked him. "I think you two need to talk."

"Know what? Maybe we do." He replied. "I just don't see this going anywhere."

He got up and started to walk away. He turned around and said "But I don't want it to end, either."

I didn't want summer to end. I love summer. I love the hot Sun, I love clear blue skies, I love ice cream trucks that play jingles as they drive by. But I also love cool autumn winds, falling leaves, and Halloween. I don't want summer to end, and at the same time, I'm looking forward to autumn. But summer ended anyway.

Noah had sent me a text message the next day. They broke up.


End file.
